these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
