so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
