five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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