My room smells like vodka and shame
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
