PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
