He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
