ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
