no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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