when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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