so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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