so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
