Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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