At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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