Who wears a wallet chain?!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
