garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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