i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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