Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
