I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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