I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
