I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I want you more than these girls want KFC
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
