Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
