Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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