i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
