it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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