My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize