is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
