you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
