If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize