I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
