I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
