I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Pooping to opera.
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