You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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