just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dicks are not precious.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize