Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
