Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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