I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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