She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
