i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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