Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
