ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
