I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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