She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
