Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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