smell my finger.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
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