Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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