I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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