Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
