He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
