I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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