Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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