sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
