Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
