my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize