i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
