i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
