If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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