capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
