when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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