i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
do nipples grow back?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
