every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
