Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
