Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
