he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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