If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
