Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
