How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
