My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
