I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have fence marks all over my body
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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