Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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