Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
