we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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