I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This baby is an asshole
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
