I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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