well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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