Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize