U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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