Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
