and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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