just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
