this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
