at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
