Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
