living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
This house was built for laser tag.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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