I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
