Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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